6/4/2020 Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

People my age and older from the south shore of Staten Island probably remember reading or knowing about a family named the Charles family. They bought a house in the Oakwood Heights neighborhood in early 1972. I was 14 years old.

At that time the part of Staten Island I was from was white. It was almost exclusively populated by white people, mostly of Irish and Italian ancestry. I'm half Italian, half Irish, so I was the same as everyone else. The only black family I knew of near where I lived were the Williams'. I knew them because one of the Williams, Charlie, used to come around looking to get into ballgames, stuff like that. I didn't know Charlie Williams real well. He knew who I was, and I knew who he was, and we never had any problems that I remember. He was better friends with a few other boys from Richmondtown who were a year or two older than me.

I remember my dad was friendly with a black man with whom he used to umpire ballgames, a man named "Reese". I don't remember if Reese was his first name or his last name, but I still remember him and how he looked. He had kind of grey, kinky hair, and light brown skin. He was real nice and I remember him smiling a lot. One time dad invited him over, I think for a cookout or maybe just to have a couple of beers or drinks or something. And even though I didn't visit much with them when he was over, I remember him saying his walk up McKinley Ave. from the bus stop down on Richmond Rd., three blocks, the same three blocks I walked to and from the St. Patrick's School for 7 years, that he felt like "everybody he saw was looking at him",  made him feel like he didn't belong I guess. I don't remember what year that was, but I think it was probably before 1972. To me he was my dad's friend, so he was not really different from any other guy dad might have had over for a hot dog and a beer or something, but I surely was cognizant that he was a black guy. I think maybe then, in the late 60's. early 70's nobody said "colored" anymore, but I don't think anyone said African-American much, either. So I think I was thinking, "Wow, a black guy. I never really been around a black guy." I also remember thinking that it must have sucked walking up from the bus stop knowing everybody was looking at him like that.

And even though I was old enough in 1968, I was eleven, to understand the significance of the assassination of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and the Newark riots, even though Staten Island isn't far from Newark, to an eleven year old, it might as well have been on the moon or in California, or someplace else really far away, not really a part of my world at all.

But when the Charles family had the audacity to endeavor to move to Oakwood Heights, it was the first time in my life that I am sure that I understood that racism wasn't just some far away thing in the deep south, it was something really bad and it was really close to home. I don't remember if they ever solved the Charles family home arson, but I don't think so. Knowing Staten Island, it was probably some mob guys or some blue collar guys who were petrified of what it would do to home values, stuff like that. That kind of racism, even at fourteen years old, seemed irrational to me and still does. I know that because of our own biases we tend to gravitate toward people like ourselves, and lacking any better information or understanding we might shy away from people who are different from us. I'm not talking about for some evil racist deep seeded hatred, but just from looking to surround ourselves with people we can relate to. All that being said, I KNEW, absolutely knew in my mind and in my heart that what was done to the Charles family was wrong. And I'd like to think stuff like that doesn't happen anymore, but I know that while things have gotten better, sometimes it still does.

For me personally, I was lucky in both my Marine Corps years, and especially in my UPS years, to know and befriend all kinds of people, that includes Hispanic/Mexican guys, Native-Americans, African-Americans, Asians, and even some Pacific Islanders. I consider myself blessed to know them, to have known them, and to call many of them "friend". I know that most of them have had to deal with prejudice and racism at various times. If they were my age, then they were fourteen, too, when the Charles family arson happened. Maybe stuff like that happened to some of them. I don't know of any specifically, but if it happened on Staten Island, it happened where they were. too. What I do know is, especially my UPS friends of color were some really classy, hard working, great people who I came to respect and be proud of knowing and to being able to call them a friend.

To any and all of those friends tonight I say this: whatever that shit was that you personally, or that your parents or families dealt with, I hope you never felt like it was coming from me. Because certainly intentionally it never was. And if you called me a friend then, then I'm still your friend now. And I also want you to know that I think it sucks that sometimes you might still get pulled over for driving while black, or have someone make prejudiced assumptions about you, or whatever. And I know some of you, well really all of you, you're either a mom or a dad, a brother or a sister, a son or a daughter, or a husband or a wife to someone else who is black. And when you see what happened to George Floyd it pissed you off, or maybe brought back some really bad memories, or maybe it just scared you for your own son or brother or husband or father. And that is a shame in 2020 that that's still where we're at. I am sorry that we are. All that I can do is promise that I'll never behave that way to people, no matter what color they are, and if I see someone else doing so, I'll speak up and ask, "Hey, what the fuck are you doing to him? That shit ain't right. Stop it!" And then I'll call 911.

Life, from knowing you, has taught me we're all the same. There are smart people and there are some who are maybe not as smart. There are some really nice people in this world, and there are some real assholes. There are fully law-abiding people and there are criminal people, too. None of those attributes is a function of race. Yeah, there are good and bad and they come in big, small, young, old, white, black, yellow, brown, and red. It's not 1968 or 1972 anymore, at least not here are my house. You're my friends, and you're most welcome here at my house.

Why can't we all just get along?

6/3/2020 *NEW* Good Ol' Matty P Co-Hosts a Podcast w Wise Guy Talks!

Check out something new I'm doing. Doing what I like to do, talking! Me and Marine buddy Guy, of Wise Guy Talks, talking about the stuff in the news most of interest to us. The first (proof of concept?) episode, Episode 1of The Weekly Debrief, is up and available. 

This week we talk about the protests and riots following the murder of George Floyd. Enjoy!

The Weekly Debrief on Wise Guy Talks

The Weekly Debrief on YouTube

6/2/2020 Selected Snippets From My Twitter Feed - *I may post my commentary later

A US Marshall has died after being shot in the head in Nevada.
South Philadelphia Gun Store owner shoots&kills one of 3 or 4 armed looters who pointed gun at him first. Lock on gate cut with bolt cutters. Back door shattered&kicked in. Gun owner was on high alert after attempted break-in earlier in the week.

**SHOTS FIRED AT NYPD OFFICER IN BROOKLYN** South 9th St and Havemayer St. No injuries to officers. Suspect fled in vehicle and now has been bees stopped in #Manhattan at 39 Street and 9 Avenue.

LAPD Reports Officer-Involved Shooting Near The 10 Freeway.

NOW: A police officer appears to have been hit by a vehicle in NYC.

Rioters now throwing fireworks inside a police car in Providence, RI; The police cruiser is on fire

BREAKING VIDEO: Cops come under fire during protest in St. Louis; at least 4 officers were shot in the gun battle & the scene remains active.

At least 2 shootings reported on Las Vegas Strip; police officer confirmed shot outside Circus Circus hotel-casino.

DC Thugs Moving into HOMES! Homes are getting looted!! Mr President! Why isn’t anyone helping these families?????? People, where are your guns?

This bus was stopped yesterday at Broad St. & 3rd due for obstruction of traffic. There was a suspicion of supplying riot equipment to rioters. Detectives followed up w/a vehicle search today & found: bats, rocks, meat cleavers, axes, clubs & other projectiles. Charges pending. (Colombus, OH)

In case you've lost count, 7 cops have been shot and 3 have been run over by cars in the past 8 hours. I'm absolutely sick to my stomach!!!!

An 11pm curfew in Manhattan. What a joke. In the meantime, looters are tearing through the city, busting windows and destroying property while stealing (and have been for hours). Let’s see what happens at 11. You should be ashamed of yourselves,

Police officers are being targeted with vehicles in NYC, and it's not even making the news cycle. This is war against the civilized.

This woman’s sister was shot and killed by a protestor in Davenport, Iowa. The pain coming from her voice in this video is just heartbreaking.

The defense case against the two attorneys accused of throwing the Molotov cocktail just got even worse with an allegation that they were trying to distribute the bottles to others.

Military Police are mass arresting Dallas rioters after trapping them on a bridge and closing off both sides. The only way out is on a bus headed for straight for jail.

Officer down on Madison Avenue, NYC. This is a disgrace. This needs to stop. now.

My block in Washington, DC was chaos last night and full of rioters. Tonight, it’s totally peaceful. Thank you,  @realdonaldTrump

This video/tweet is a LIE This video does *not* include what happened right before he pulled his gun out A savage thug pulled out a brick & struck his supervisor in the back of the head He pulled his gun out to clear out the area Here's the full video: 

This deceptive video has been viewed millions of times and has increased hatred toward law enforcement officials Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey has not applied a manipulated media label to the tweet.

40 minutes after 11pm curfew in NYC tonight and this is what Soho looks like. Intense looting at dozens of stores and police doing nothing

"Metro sources confirm to 8 News Now that the officer who was shot in the head near Circus Circus is on life support at UMC. The source said the officer was in a fight with another suspect when someone walked up behind and the shot the officer."

“I will fight to protect you, I am your President of law and order.” -@realDonaldTrump

Since Chris tweeted this, police officers have now been run over by cars in Buffalo and New York City, and four officers were shot in St. Louis.

Police just drug a peaceful looter out of Macy’s....

Feels like a very organized effort tonight - kids have turned up with hammers and big bags, they have spotters on the corners and cars ready to go. Group of about 500 kids now running up Fifth Ave looting whatever they want.

     

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5/31/2020 What's the Endgame?

I understand the anger.

I understand a First Amendment right to assembly and free speech.

The point's been made. The cop's been arrested and charged with murder. Now we have cities in chaos. I've seen more than one scene of a business owner beaten by mobs for the sin of trying to protect their property and livelihoods. Police officers dragged through the streets in Chicago, a black Federal Officer killed by a drive by shooter in California, the Courthouse and City Hall in Nashville set afire. Again and again across America, there's been destruction and violence.

Chicago Cop Dragged Through Streets

Oakland, CA, Where a Federal Officer Was Killed by a Driveby

What's the endgame? What are the terms? This can't keep going on and on. Well it can, actually, but at some point there will be a counteraction and it won't be pretty. The government has been very measured in response, I presume the response has been measured in an effort to avoid escalation. But if the violence, terrorizing, and destruction keep up, either the government will put it down or we will start to see vigilantism. Nobody wants to see that, but there will come a point that that's what will happen.

Who speaks for the mobs and thugs? Yeah, thugs. And a lot of them are white, so don't tell me it's fucking racial to call the violent and destructive rioters and terrorists thugs. (I hate the fact that that term, 'thugs', has been called racial by so many, when it refers to people who display thuggish behavior, and is not a racial pejorative.) What is it they want? And the peaceful protesters, what about them? When do they walk away from the terrorists because they don't agree with, condone, or support their tactics. You want to call them protesters? Fine. But until they make it clear they don't support the terrorists and thugs they're mingling with, giving the terrorists and thugs duck and cover by simply being there for the scum to mingle in with, the protesters have allowed themselves to be used as human shields and are a part of the problem.

Nobody, but nobody I've talked to or read or heard from has tried in any way to justify the murder of George Floyd. None of the victims of terrorism have. None of the business owners whose businesses are ruined have, either, I'm sure. The cop will stand trial. In the meantime, what's it going to take to end the destruction and violence? Are there "terms", or is a counter-uprising and a counterattack going to be made necessary? Because at some point, something's got to give. We've passed one breaking point, which is why the violence started. The next breaking point will be worse. Whether government forces or civilian vigilantes, we just DON'T want that to happen. Do we? I don't.

5/29/2020-3 "How white people should talk to people of color"

Of all the stuff I've seen on social media the last couple of days, one of the most astounding has been advice being given. to us white people on how to talk to black people. It's do's and dont's. Mostly don'ts. Don't ever say this. Don't say that. The list is long, and some of the advice is common sense and common decency. Some of it, though, is preposterous. So, this last post tonight is short and sweet:

Thanks for the advice, helpful black person(s). But I've talked to black people plenty in my 62 years, 9 and 1/2 months. I'm not too stupid to know how to talk to people without causing problems. It's goddamned insulting that you're advising white people what we can and can't, should and shouldn't say to you. Everything has to conform to your narrative, to your truth, to your sensibilities. My narrative, my truth, and my sensibilities? Well, like 'em or not, that's what you get. So thanks, but no thanks for the condescending, self-serving, demeaning advice. I think we will get along fine if I do me and you do you. If we can't, it's not because we're different colors. It's because you think you're the fucking thought police. And you ain't, at least not of my thoughts.

5/29/2020-2 Bias, Discrimination, Prejudice, and Racism: Are They All the Same Thing?

When racial tension flares up like it has over the killing of  George Floyd, I often see written or am told in writing that racism is hiding everywhere in our society. And as I try to wrap my brain around it, I always seem to come back to: There's bias, there's discrimination, there's prejudice, and there's racism. Without using a dictionary, here's how I see the differences between those things. And I do think they're different, and I do think that treating them as the same makes it very hard for us to have the dialogue we need to have about race. If not a dialogue, then at least a sweeping change in mindset for many of us, sometimes of all races and colors. But mostly, because of the Floyd George case, I'm thinking black and white.

Bias is a tendency to lean toward or away from someone or something to satisfy our own comfort or avoid discomfort. It's not necessarily harmful as long as it's simple and innocent. The simplest example I can think of is friendships and love relationships. While it seems to me that interracial friendships and relationships are more common in the US than ever before, many of us still tend to be drawn to friendships and relationships with people who tend to look like ourselves. We're drawn to our own kind. I don't know if it's inherent in our makeup, or cultural, or learned, or what. And while many of us would be much better off and have a much better understanding if we had more good friendships with a diverse group, to say this is racism or discrimination, to me is an overstatement and exaggeration.

Discrimination is a next step past bias. Where bias is more an inclination, discrimination is more of an active decision: Joey and Stevie don't want Kelvin to hang out with them, either because they're not comfortable with being around a black guy or they've been raised to "to keep to their own kind.' So they discriminate against Kelvin: "No, there's no room for you in the car. Find your own way to the game." Or in hiring, "Kelvin, you're just not a good fit here." "But I meet all the requirements, and I really need a job." "Well, I appreciate that, but you're just not a good fit. I don't want to put you in position to fail. That won't be good for you or for us."

Prejudice, as in racial prejudice, is prejudging someone because of race. It's thinking someone is more likely to steal, take extra days off for poor excuses, probably on drugs, all kinds of predetermination without justifiable cause. "I know Kelvin did ok on the interview testing, but do you really think he's smart enough to handle this job?" "I have concerns about Kelvin's reliability. We should go in a different direction." The guy doesn't know Kelvin, his negative attitude is due to unfortunate stereotyping, but not necessarily is there any animosity of hatred behind it. It's more an ignorance.

And then there's racism. Damned died in the wool hatred due to racial background, or a sense of superiority over someone because they're not the same race as you. "Are you f***ing kidding me? You're going to hire a goddamned n***er? Not on my watch! This is a white outfit. We're gonna stay that way. This company was built around a set of values, and it ain't going down the tubes to satisfy NAACP or the EEOC or anyone. F*** that!" The same can be transferred to making a team, to choosing friends, to your treatment of the (black) person your (white) child falls in love with.

All four if these, bias, discrimination, prejudice, and racism exist in our society today. They all exist as to how whites see blacks, and they all exist as to how blacks see whites, too. Since in society today it's fair to say whites hold more of the better cards in the deck that the former is more problematic, but the latter exists, too, and neither is helpful or healthy for any of us.

So, where does this line of thinking lead me? First, the first three are correctable, probably bias most easily, discrimination next, then prejudice the hardest. Racism is a harder nut to crack. It's more rooted in negative emotion and less reliant on anything factual at all. But one thing I know for sure, nobody thinks they're a racist, and most people in the first three categories will probably be insulted, maybe deeply hurt feelings, maybe angry, if you call them one. A full on racist? That f***er probably couldn't give two shits what anyone thinks of him. He's so right in his own mind, it'd be hard to convince him he's wrong.

I know for me, yes I've got biases. If you think you don't, you're either lying to yourself or you're far more enlightened than me or most people. I don't think I discriminate or am prejudiced, but maybe I can be shown an instance where I am and I will feel bad when I come to know and understand that. But if your way of calling it to my attention it to call me a racist motherf***er, all chances of a good outcome in the discussion for everyone have probably diminished for all concerned. Racial inequality is real. And biases, prejudices, discrimination, and racism ALL play a role in fostering continued racial inequality. Biased, prejudicial, and discriminative behaviors can and should change, even when they are mine-my own. Calling me a racist for everything you might dislike or disagree with? It's not helpful. And because I have questions about what killer cop's motive was, is NOT a denial of the possibility that he is a racist piece of sh*t. To me, that presumption is a form of prejudice, a rush to judgement without facts, because why not, right? White cop, black victim, we know all we need to know, don't we? And because I differentiate between protesters and rioters and looters, that isn't a denial of the fact that bias, discrimination, prejudice, and racism are real. My assertions to that effect have been met with numerous, "You just don't understand."

Well, you know what? If "You just don't understand," is the only possible response I can get because I don't agree that robbing or burning the Target and CVS is understandable given circumstances, I guess I just won't ever understand. Burning something else tonight, shooting someone else tonight, stealing something else tonight is NOT going to bring me around. They've already got my attention. The f***ing murderous cop is in jail and has been charged with murder. If that justice isn't good enough, then we're either gone off the cliff or close to the point of no return.

5/29/2020 George Floyd Murdered by Cop, MSP Burns

George Floyd didn't have to die. And George Floyd didn't deserve to die. It's too late now. He's as dead as a person gets, and we only get one crack at it on this Earth. I have no idea why fired policeman Derek Chauvin knelt on Floyd's neck until he was dead. I have no idea why the other three fired police officers didn't intervene. I heard a statement by a Minneapolis District Attorney last night say they had other evidence that showed it may not have been a homicide (paraphrasing). Well, I would like to hear what other evidence would make me think to myself, "Oh, now it makes perfect sense why that officer knelt on his neck until he killed him." It'll take quite a tall tale, I'd say. And I'm a huge supporter of the police. So right up front, I support police and I almost always give everyone, including cops, the benefit of the doubt. But, as far as this case goes, there doesn't seem to be much doubt in my mind. If some incredible evidence comes out to convince me it wasn't murder, I'll change my tune. Until then, no.

What I'm not nearly so willing to presume is that because Chauvin is white and Floyd is black, that race was a motive, or that it was a causal factor in the murder. I am NOT saying it's not. I am just saying I'm uncomfortable that a city is on fire, and other people's lives are being ravaged by those fires because there's this seemingly unassailable certainty that that's what this was, even before we know what it was. My friend Steve last night questioned whether I understood the level of anger seething within the black community over this. My aunt explained how so many other episodes lend credibility to the presumption that race plays into it. The Minneapolis Mayor himself said 400 years of history bring us to the place where this angry outpouring (paraphrasing) can be explained and understood. 

To me, what we are seeing is very real anger. It may not be a great analogy, but I think it is. Hopefully I can articulate this well enough that you do, too. The reaction to this reminds me of a bad marriage that's in crisis. Due to one partner's behavior again and again, and the other's repeated co-dependent response to it,. the two have come to a point of complete distrust and short-tempered flareups happen all too often, maybe daily. At that point, almost anything will set the co-dependent responder off. Late coming home from work? "Where the f*** have you been?!?!" Stuck in traffic and then had to fix a flat tire or some other legitimate reason disappears in the anger. Why? Because yesterday and the day before that and the days before that, too, it was drinking and infidelity. neither of which went away today just because the "excuse" was better, And in that bad marriage, as the fireworks of fighting are exploded, who is hurt the worst? The kids. The kids. The kids are the biggest victims. Growing up with no trust and all fighting, the stage is set for their lives to follow a path where dysfunction and ab-normalcy, lack of trust, infidelity, abuse, and substance abuse seem normal: that's what family life is. Well, we are seeing that on a grand scale, as the interracial marriage that is the USA is in crisis.

Well, as I already said, I am not sure this WAS racial. It COULD have been something else. Am I sure? Hell no. All I'm sure of is that it looks pretty certain that Chauvin is a murderer. What his motive may have been, remains to be seen. Why in the f*** the Minneapolis DA seems to be covering for him rather than signing an arrest warrant is beyond me, But for me, I think more facts are in order before a city is burned down to punish innocents for the sins of the guilty. I've always said that police shootings, particularly this and similarly controversial police shootings, should be investigated like an aircraft accident, to peel back the onion through all its layers to find what is really inside, why did it really happen? One Minneapolis television station reported last night that Chauvin and Floyd both worked at the same nightclub in Minneapolis for years, both of them working security for the club, one inside, the other outside. Is it possible they had some conflict related to their work? Instead of Black Guy - White Cop, could it have been Two Guys Who Hated One Another?

As to the Minneapolis Mayor, citing 400 years of history as an explanation, and to any and everyone who feel likewise, I get where you're coming from. There IS racial injustice. There IS racism. Our country has some unfortunate chapters, chapters that include slavery and racial inequality. But we also have one chapter that I don't know any other country in the world has. We had a civil war, nearly uncountable deaths. To end the scourge of slavery. That was us. Our country. Civil War to end slavery. Who else had that?

George Floyd deserved to live. Even if he was a serial axe murderer, I don't see how that would justify kneeling on his neck until he was dead. George Floyd deserves justice now. Justice based on truth and the facts, not based on assumption and presumption. Maybe it was racial. If it is shown to be that that's what it was, then so be it. Treat it as such and find a way for society to learn from it. If by some chance it turns out to have been something else, then who do the victims of the riotous destruction and looting petition to seek their justice?