Today's Insanity, "Baked Goods" and "Birthing People" - 7/7/2022

Just when I had let the insanity that is Teacher's Unions slip from my mind for a bit, there come reports today that the NEA (National Education Association) is discussing replacing the word "mother" with "birthing parent" as a way of being more inclusive of LGBTQ+ people. These people are ridiculous. No kidding, they're absolutely ridiculous.

I love my mother. She is my mother. I am not going to call her my "birthing parent". I am not going to call your mother your "birthing parent". I am not going to call a gay person's mother "birthing parent". I am not going to call a trans person's mother "birthing parent". I am not going to refer to anyone as "birthing parent." If you are LGBTQ+ and for some reason the terms "mother" and "motherhood" bother you, I am sorry to hear that. That doesn't negate or invalidate motherhood. And I'm sorry if motherhood bothers you. Do you know who else may be bothered or saddened by the words mother and motherhood? People with broken hearts because their mother, their mom, their mommy, mama has passed away. I've never heard a one of them ask that we not use that hurtful term.

Imagine if a certain oatmeal cookie felt more like a cherry pie.  Didn't feel like a cookie at all, as a matter of fact. Feels like a cherry pie, 100% a cherry pie. Always identified as a cherry pie, even as they were lifted from the cookie sheet with the oatmeal cookies that identify as such. Follow along.

Cherry Pie Cookies

"Everyone calls me a cookie, but I am a pie. Call me "Cherry Pie" please."

"OK, my dear Oatmeal Cookie, oops, I mean Cherry Pie, if it will make you feel better, from now on I'll call you Cherry Pie. I'll try to get used to your new name, I promise."

"Thank you, I appreciate it."

"Hey, Cherry Pie, now that you realize that you're not a cookie, are you still friends with Sugar Cookie and Peanut Butter Cookie?" All at once, Cherry Pie starts to cry.

"Why are you crying, Cherry Pie?"

"It hurts my feelings when you call Sugar and Peanut Putter "Cookie"."

"What, but they're still cookies, right?"

"When you call them "Cookie" it makes me feel bad, because I'm a cherry pie now."

"If I don't call them Cookie, what would you prefer I call them?"

"Baked Goods. Call them Baked Goods, that fits us all, all us CPCDMs (cookies, pies, cakes, donuts, and muffins).

"You gotta be shitting me."

"Nope, I'm serious, call us all "Baked Goods" and I'll feel better about who I am."

"Fuck off, Oatmeal Cookie, I ain't calling anyone Baked Goods."