When racial tension flares up like it has over the killing of George Floyd, I often see written or am told in writing that racism is hiding everywhere in our society. And as I try to wrap my brain around it, I always seem to come back to: There's bias, there's discrimination, there's prejudice, and there's racism. Without using a dictionary, here's how I see the differences between those things. And I do think they're different, and I do think that treating them as the same makes it very hard for us to have the dialogue we need to have about race. If not a dialogue, then at least a sweeping change in mindset for many of us, sometimes of all races and colors. But mostly, because of the Floyd George case, I'm thinking black and white.
Bias is a tendency to lean toward or away from someone or something to satisfy our own comfort or avoid discomfort. It's not necessarily harmful as long as it's simple and innocent. The simplest example I can think of is friendships and love relationships. While it seems to me that interracial friendships and relationships are more common in the US than ever before, many of us still tend to be drawn to friendships and relationships with people who tend to look like ourselves. We're drawn to our own kind. I don't know if it's inherent in our makeup, or cultural, or learned, or what. And while many of us would be much better off and have a much better understanding if we had more good friendships with a diverse group, to say this is racism or discrimination, to me is an overstatement and exaggeration.
Discrimination is a next step past bias. Where bias is more an inclination, discrimination is more of an active decision: Joey and Stevie don't want Kelvin to hang out with them, either because they're not comfortable with being around a black guy or they've been raised to "to keep to their own kind.' So they discriminate against Kelvin: "No, there's no room for you in the car. Find your own way to the game." Or in hiring, "Kelvin, you're just not a good fit here." "But I meet all the requirements, and I really need a job." "Well, I appreciate that, but you're just not a good fit. I don't want to put you in position to fail. That won't be good for you or for us."
Prejudice, as in racial prejudice, is prejudging someone because of race. It's thinking someone is more likely to steal, take extra days off for poor excuses, probably on drugs, all kinds of predetermination without justifiable cause. "I know Kelvin did ok on the interview testing, but do you really think he's smart enough to handle this job?" "I have concerns about Kelvin's reliability. We should go in a different direction." The guy doesn't know Kelvin, his negative attitude is due to unfortunate stereotyping, but not necessarily is there any animosity of hatred behind it. It's more an ignorance.
And then there's racism. Damned died in the wool hatred due to racial background, or a sense of superiority over someone because they're not the same race as you. "Are you f***ing kidding me? You're going to hire a goddamned n***er? Not on my watch! This is a white outfit. We're gonna stay that way. This company was built around a set of values, and it ain't going down the tubes to satisfy NAACP or the EEOC or anyone. F*** that!" The same can be transferred to making a team, to choosing friends, to your treatment of the (black) person your (white) child falls in love with.
All four if these, bias, discrimination, prejudice, and racism exist in our society today. They all exist as to how whites see blacks, and they all exist as to how blacks see whites, too. Since in society today it's fair to say whites hold more of the better cards in the deck that the former is more problematic, but the latter exists, too, and neither is helpful or healthy for any of us.
So, where does this line of thinking lead me? First, the first three are correctable, probably bias most easily, discrimination next, then prejudice the hardest. Racism is a harder nut to crack. It's more rooted in negative emotion and less reliant on anything factual at all. But one thing I know for sure, nobody thinks they're a racist, and most people in the first three categories will probably be insulted, maybe deeply hurt feelings, maybe angry, if you call them one. A full on racist? That f***er probably couldn't give two shits what anyone thinks of him. He's so right in his own mind, it'd be hard to convince him he's wrong.
I know for me, yes I've got biases. If you think you don't, you're either lying to yourself or you're far more enlightened than me or most people. I don't think I discriminate or am prejudiced, but maybe I can be shown an instance where I am and I will feel bad when I come to know and understand that. But if your way of calling it to my attention it to call me a racist motherf***er, all chances of a good outcome in the discussion for everyone have probably diminished for all concerned. Racial inequality is real. And biases, prejudices, discrimination, and racism ALL play a role in fostering continued racial inequality. Biased, prejudicial, and discriminative behaviors can and should change, even when they are mine-my own. Calling me a racist for everything you might dislike or disagree with? It's not helpful. And because I have questions about what killer cop's motive was, is NOT a denial of the possibility that he is a racist piece of sh*t. To me, that presumption is a form of prejudice, a rush to judgement without facts, because why not, right? White cop, black victim, we know all we need to know, don't we? And because I differentiate between protesters and rioters and looters, that isn't a denial of the fact that bias, discrimination, prejudice, and racism are real. My assertions to that effect have been met with numerous, "You just don't understand."
Well, you know what? If "You just don't understand," is the only possible response I can get because I don't agree that robbing or burning the Target and CVS is understandable given circumstances, I guess I just won't ever understand. Burning something else tonight, shooting someone else tonight, stealing something else tonight is NOT going to bring me around. They've already got my attention. The f***ing murderous cop is in jail and has been charged with murder. If that justice isn't good enough, then we're either gone off the cliff or close to the point of no return.
