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Wednesday, May 13, 2020

5/13/2020 Of Modern Politics and Friendships Lost

As Caroline and I drove up to Louisville from Florida yesterday, I listened to several podcasts, then checked to hear what was on the radio. (I started to say "checked to see what was on the radio", but I think I was going to hear it, not see it.) I came upon the Dennis Prager radio show. I've always liked listening to Prager. He has a relaxed and pleasant delivery, and he is intelligent, articulate, and reasonable. He was talking about recent attacks upon him by some of the mainstream media press, including the New York Daily News. They had twisted his words and taken them out of context, reporting that he "bemoaned the loss of racial epitaphs", which if you've ever listened to Prager you know without having to research it, that it's a fabrication. Dennis went on to talk about it some more, then said something, I wish I had his exact words vebatim, but I'll settle for paraphrasing. He said, "It's a remarkable time, were family relationships and friendships are disposed of because the left is intolerant of anyone who supports President Trump." This gave me pause to ponder that while I drove. What is he getting at, and have I seen it myself?

Yes, I have. Sadly, I have seen it and felt it, a lot of it. Maybe to some extent, I'm guilty, too. First off it's not just because of Trump and Trumpism. Some of it is a social media phenomenon, too. I remember on Inauguration Day, 2017, Caroline, a totally a-political person, made an innocent remark about First Lady Melania Trump's elegance. A former close friend attacked the post, posting nude photos of the First Lady from her modeling days. Shortly thereafter, the "friend" had banished us from her life, blocking us from her phone and from her social media. It was Caroline's friend, although I was fond of her, too. And in the 3-1/2 or so years since, that has remained the situation. I don't see it changing. 'Good riddance?' I don't necessarily think so, but on the other hand, I'm fine with the status quo being the status forever.

Personally, I am guilty of cutting a few people off of my social media for behavior related to their politics. I worded it that way purposely, because in every single case it was for their behavior, and NOT for their politics. People I generally like posted, re-posted is actually a more accurate word, stories from the New York Times or CBS News, or Dan Rather, or some other leftward outpost of though and ideology, stories that insulted me broadside for supporting President Trump. I was 'stupid', 'racist', 'hateful', 'homophobic', 'misogynistic', 'xenophobic', the list goes on. I don't think some of the posters intended to insult me, but they did. And in the case of casual work or social connections that were/are limited to social media, I 'un-friended', muted, or even blocked the most irrational and hateful of them. But most of those connections, I don't really lament losing, not a whole lot, anyway. But not a single one of them, not one, did I cut from my social media because I disagreed with their views on any issue: taxation, immigration, healthcare, abortion, gun control, etc. Not a one. I gave them the boot for the insults. Period.

Social media has put us into a sort of trench warfare situation. Hiding in the safety of our own political fighting trench, the 'enemy', those with whom we disagree, are invisible to us and it becomes a fully impersonal and disconnected from the humanity and dignity of courteous and friendly human interaction. I try, every time I endeavor to express my views, whether on Facebook or here on this blog, to refrain from insulting friends of mine with whom I disagree. Scumbags like Adam Schiff of Eric Swalwell, no. They're scum: not for views they hold with which I disagree, but for lying, and for the insults they and other politicians lob at me and people who disagree with them. Think Hillary Clinton's generalizations about Trump supporters during the 2016 campaign. She leapt from disagreeing with us to insult and casting dispersions. The hell with her. Sadly, many other politicians and media persons have adopted the insulting of Trump supporters, too.

And the right is surely guilty of this, too. "Libtard" is my least favorite of all of them. Many on the right have also insulted friends on the left with these insulting generalizations, but I try always to refrain from using them. The friends who I hold dearest who also hold left-leaning views are intelligent, caring, kind, and good people. Some of them don't realize they insulted me with their posts, and anymore I mostly just ignore it. But, probably as some of them do when friends on the right insult them, early on if the friendship wasn't a meaningful one in some way that transcends a casual social media connection, I ended it.

Well, recently I notice more and more friends on the left disappearing from my circle. I guess it's just an extension of what's been going on. The CCP Virus, Corona-virus, COVID-19, whatever you want to call it today, has had something to do with this. Some people want things opened so they can return to life as they normally live it. Others are much more cautious, and want the closures, social distancing, etc., to carry on until there's a cure and or a vaccine. And you know what? There are arguments that can me made for both that make sense to me. Candidly, as more and more becomes known, I favor re-opening with targeted measures to protect the vulnerable, but I don't think you're a bad person if you favor extended closure. I would welcome an open and honest discussion about that and the other pressing issues of the day if those discussions could be had intellectually without the insults and anger that has come to characterize political disagreement in 2020.

I'll close by saying this: if in the course of expressing my political views, and you disagree with me, I welcome your disagreement as long as it is rational and intelligent, free from generalization and insult., And if I should knowingly or unknowingly have insulted you or do so in the future, I welcome your private message telling me what it was I said and how it hurt your feelings. But if the very fact that I disagree with you on some issue is problematic for our friendship even lacking insult or any hurtful expression of the same, I'd ask you to think about why it is that just plain disagreement causes you heartburn. And if you still can't get past it, then we really are through and that's too goddamned bad, isn't it? Too goddamned bad,


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